The School Bus Chronicles: "Wanna Hear it Again??"

Ok, when I was a kid we'd go visit my grandparent's farm. My great grandmother lived across the highway and was a huge part of my life. She passed away when I was 13. For years she would come over to the house and gramma would give her a home perm. The kind with tiny white curls so she'd be all set for church on Sunday.

One day (and I remember this like it was yesterday) I had figured out the pattern for counting from 1-100. So.. with great gramma sitting in her hair-do chair, and gramma up to her elbows in curlers, paper and setting solution I ask: "Wanna hear me count to 100?" "Sure dear!"

"1...2...3...4.. ..... 97.. 98.. 99...100"

"That was fine Candie!"

"Wanna hear me count to 100 again?"

"Sure dear...."

"1...2...3...4.. ..... 97.. 98.. 99...100"

"That was fine, Candie!"

"Wanna hear me count to 100 again?"

"No."

"Can I go feed the calves?"

"PLEASE!"

Elementary run.. down to last four kids. One girl (I'll call Susie) is in 3rd grade. She was my official back-seat-driver tonight. She is blond, wears glasses, has trouble with speaking clearly. She is me (except for blond). She is exactly me. OH! A "Mini-me!"

"Do you want me to help you with the last two stops? I will if you need me to. I think you know them ok already though. Do you like my boots? Do you like my dress?"

"Yes! Love love love your boots and dress"

"I'm getting a piano and I know a song to play on it already but I have another song that I know the words to do you want me to sing it for you because I know all the words I have a brother who's in middle school and he might meet me at the bus stop. My dad leaves in the morning before I get up."

"Ok.. what's the song?"

"I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor. Make it go slow, make it go faster... Climb up in my lap and drive if you want to, girl I know you've got something I can hold on to............" (***Oy! That's not right***) Do you like the song? That's Justin making farty noises with his armpits, he does it in class a lot. Wanna hear me sing it again?"

"Ok..." (I think I recognize the tune.. not.. quite sure...)

"I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor. Make it go slow, make it go faster... Climb up in my lap and drive if you want to, girl I know you've got something I can hold on to............" (***Oy! That's so not right***) Do you like the song? That's Anna in the aisle in the back. She's in fifth grade and she gets into trouble in class all the time, Wanna hear me sing it again?"

"ooo...kayyyyy.."

"I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor. Make it go slow, make it go faster... Climb up in my lap and drive if you want to, girl I know you've got something I can hold on to............" (***Oy! That's really not right***) Do you like the song? Wanna hear me sing it again? You know who has a new album out? Is your name really Candie like in Halloween? Lemme sing you this song and you guess"

*Sigh* "Ok"..

"She wears short skirts..." "Taylor Swift!" "RIGHT!" You know I lost the album but now I don't loose it anymore." (I'm confused) Why is that business called Field and Forest?" "The guy that owns it's last name Field." "Is his dad name Forest?" (Huh?) Do you want to hear me sing the song again?

(silence..........................)

"I'll take you for a ride on my big green tractor. Make it go slow, make it go faster... Climb up in my lap and drive if you want to, girl I know you've got something I can hold on to............" (***Oy! My ears are bleeding! ***) "Wanna hear me sing it again?"

Gramma I'M SOOOOOO veryyy Sorry!!!!!!!!! Oh, soooooooooo sorry!!